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{Purity & Waiting}


There's a song I know well.

"Darling,
did you know that I dream about you?
Waiting for the look in your eyes when we meet for the first time. Darling,
did you know that I pray about you? Praying that you will hold on.... Keep your loving eyes only for me.
Cause I am waiting for, praying for you, Darling.
Wait for me too...

Now, I know you may have made mistakes 
But there's forgiveness and a second chance.
So wait for me..." 

{you can find the song on my playlist below}
It's about waiting.
(Something we girls don't really like to do. It's definitely not fun.)
Written by a beautiful girl who dreamed of her future husband, whoever he may be.
The "one" she asked God to bring into her life, at the perfect time.
The one she saved her purity for.
Her name is Rebecca & she is one of my role models.
Well over 10 years after writing and singing this song,
she married the handsome man of her dreams.
And she was a virgin.
(and so was he)

{photo via Rebecca St. James' Facebook page, edited by yours truly!}
I am still waiting for MY man.
I have worn a purity ring since I was 13.
I have prayed for him every day since then.
And I haven't met him yet.
I don't share this with you to rub it in your face. I know this is a message many people don't even want to hear. I share because it is one of the CLOSEST passions to my heart.

TLC's new show "The Virgin Diaries" has alot of people talking, and watching. Yes, I've seen the YouTube video kiss (and yes, it was awkward!) I've not watched alot of the show, and I don't know the hearts of those involved or those producing it. Yet, something about parading virginity around like it is a freak-show type novelty, a "Hoarders: Buried Alive" sort of ridiculous and weird wonder, a sampling of a small portion of society who we can all watch, mock, and laugh at.... is a sad testimony to where we are in our culture. Sad (to me) because 95% of people out there do not understand the value and beauty of purity. 

Purity is beautiful.
Valuable.
Precious.
A gift.

In the Bible, God says:

"Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband.
God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex."
{Hebrews 13:4, The Message}

and

"...Keep yourself pure."
{1 Timothy 5:22}

Marriage and sex are sacred. Not something to be mocked. I'm not trying to make a big deal out of this TV show, or blow it out of proportion. Sadness hit me, though, as I viewed this new show and saw many people's responses to it - joking, laughing, tearing down purity.


Making purity look like the most "un-cool", awkward, dorky thing one can embrace.
When in God's eyes, it is PRECIOUS, special, and the best way we can walk.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."
{Hebrews 13:4}


I fear The Virgin Diaries takes such a small & (shall we say) unique group of people who do have these convictions or lifestyle, which misrepresents a greater portion of us who have committed to virginity and purity. Causing people to have a narrow, misrepresented view of those who are saving sex for marriage.


What kind of message is this sending to our young people?
Purity is a hard road, and one not without mistakes along the way.
But our God is a God of second chances, new beginnings, fresh starts.

So what if a couple wants to save their first kiss for their wedding day? They should be applauded and encouraged! Not laughed at. Not every couple has those convictions and that's okay, I'm not saying that everyone should save their first kiss for their wedding day. But I can tell you this - I know some very normal couples who have chosen to save their first kiss for their wedding day (and everything else after that!) and they tell me - it was beautiful, sweet, special, precious, not awkward and WORTH IT. What a far cry from STDs, unwanted pregnancies, divorces, and broken relationships that can come from sex before marriage.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, my heart.
I pray it encourages you, wherever you may be.
Half-way down the long road of waiting, struggling with
"is it worth it? am I the only one?"

YOU'RE NOT.
Not only is Jesus on our side, but thousands of other young people are too. (And you never know, maybe you're "Darling" is out there, standing ..waiting with you) If you are a married lady, may you encourage the young ones in your life to wait.
And maybe you have some words of wisdom for us single gals.

Bottom line?

Love, sex, romance, relationships, marriage, purity... a precious gift from God. Not to be mocked or made fun of, but treasured as the precious gift it is.

"Do not let anyone look down on your because you are young,
but set an example for the believers
in speech, in love, in faith and in purity."
{1 Timothy 4:12}

Love is PATIENT
{1 Cor. 13:4}


and I know it will be worth the wait.

stay strong, dolls!

XO
Erin


*photo credit: my friend, Rachel White, edited by me. Unless otherwise noted.

28 comments:

  1. umm this is precious!! i found ur blog bacause you found my blog!! i love this and can't wait to read more from you!! And I just want to say that I am soooo proud of you for waiting!!

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  2. What a precious post. My sister and her husband waited to kiss and had it announced at their ceremony. There were a few who snickered. It's not popular, but it's special!

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  3. this is wonderful. purity is such a beautiful gift to give to your husband on that wonderful wedding night.

    I prayed for my husband since I was 16 and at 21 I started journaling to him before I even knew him. We will be celebrating our one yr anniversary on August 20, 2012 and I am so happy that God put us together.

    The wait can be hard and trying at times but its worth it. he is worth it.

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  4. Your heart is my heart.

    If I were still a single lady today, I would be declaring this to the world. I was in your shoes just 3 years ago. Loving and boldly declaring my allegiance to my Savior and my future husband.

    However, my sweet Savior brought my "Darling" into my life 2 years ago. And we both had waited (in every aspect) for each other. Prayerfully, spiritually, physically. It was a love story only He could write. And I didn't want anything less.

    We had our very first kiss on July 2, 2011...the day we got married. It was a commitment that I made when I was just 15 years old & my husband fully honored & respected that with me.

    Not only was this decision the best decision for us...but it turned out to be the biggest blessing. Our friends and family applauded our faithfulness and commitment to one another (and God) on that day. And that's something I would never trade for anything.

    That moment. That day. The best day of my life. The day I (we) got to declare to the ones we love most...How great God is. And how, if you are faithful to the things He calls you to (even if it is not to kiss until your wedding day), He will fully pour out His blessings on your life.

    Now, a little over a year later, we still hear stories from those who attended our wedding about how much our testimony blessed their lives and continues to do so. My decision to be faithful to what God called me to do at 15 years old, proves itself over and over again.

    So, whether He calls you to full-time ministry, to go live in Africa, to move to a new city, take a new job, or to save your first kiss until the altar...the point is that You can do anything as long as you trust in Him who called you, because He is faithful. And the blessings, they are always abundant and never ending. He's just good like that :)

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  5. I feel the exact same way that you do. And so does my best friend.
    Purity is one of the best things in the world, and I absolutely love being a virgin.
    I have never kissed, and I would love to save it for my wedding day. I am so excited to find the man that God has set apart for me, the sweet, well-mannered, virgin man that God has made to be compatible with me.
    Many people tell me that I am too old-fashioned, and I should change my beliefs to match a modern society. My reply is that my God does not change to match a modern society, so neither will I.
    I just want to thank you so much for encouraging me, inspiring me, and basically being perfect. :3

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  6. This is beautiful, thanks for sharing it

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  7. This was an awesome blog..really touched my heart. I'm a guy, 17 yrs of age and this really spoke to my heart. With this being a major struggle in our culture today I really needed this and to just stay positive and trust God. I pray that one day if I'm lucky enough I will be blessed with one of His precious daughters and she to has chased purity and has saved herself for marriage and has committed herself to God.

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  8. This is amazing! I just had a lesson with the 12-18 year old girls at my church on this topic (virtue). I wish I would have seen this post to share parts with them.

    I have a feeling your blog is going to become one of my new favorites. I love the message/idea behind it.

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  9. This is such a great message and very inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I only hope for the kind of faith you have in the Lord.

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  10. YOU ARE AMAZING. thank you for sharing this and for setting such a great example for others. believe me, purity is not easy, but it so incredibly worth it. praying for you, friend!

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  11. I agree! I have never seen that show, but I've heard about it and I think it's sad. Waiting until marriage is a perfectly acceptable life choice, but TLC only picks strange situations and people to portray this lifestyle (so I've heard). Actually, TLC does that with pretty much every lifestyle it creates a show about, which is why I don't watch that channel! Haha. God bless you and your journey. :)

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  12. Thanks for getting the message out there in such a sweet way. Stay strong:)

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  13. Good for you! It's wonderful to see godly ladies putting the Lord first. You are inspirational. I can only imagine the Lord has beautiful things in store for you.

    xoxo,
    Bianca

    www.thestoryofherandhim.blogspot.com

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  14. Erin, you just spoke to my heart. This is a conviction that I have been wrestling with just lately. My boyfriend and I are going on two years of dating, we talk about marriage, and purity is of the utmost importance to us..but boundaries are hard to keep.
    I just would like to say thank you for writing what our heavenly Father has placed on your heart, it is such a blessing and encouragement to me.

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  15. wow..

    This is absolutely amazing!
    Amazing things come to those who wait!

    Jay

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  16. you are awesome and will be so blessed! my husband and i both waited as well and we feel God's favor daily.
    xoxo

    We Are The Tabbs

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  17. Wow, Erin, I totally loved this post and it really spoke to my heart with words I have needed to be reminded of for a while now. Although this last year has been a struggle for me and the calendar keeps flipping over without my "darling" coming into my life yet, I know that the Lord put the desire for purity on my heart and that He will bring me my "darling" when He feels the time is right for us. Although our society might not look favorably upon the stand we have made, I am so glad to know that others have made this choice as well and that the blessings that come from waiting will so outnumber the impatient days leading up to it all and that God will reward us with a sweetness we could never know otherwise. Thank you for sharing your heart, Erin, I am so honored to know someone with such a sweet spirit as yourself and I love the beautiful young woman you have grown into. Love, Danette

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  18. You're pretty amazing! I just found your blog through instagram and am so glad I did. Looking forward to following your journey.

    Jessah @ dreamingofdimples.com

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  19. I'm a new follower and I had to because I saw that you are so awesome for spreading/sharing the purity message! I myself did not wait for my husband and shared a piece of myself I can never get back. Luckily we serve a powerful and redeeming God! You go girl!
    Blessings,
    Jacy
    www.artbyjacy.blogspot.com

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  20. Amazing. You have inspired me to make a Blog! :)

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  21. Just stumbled across your blog...way go to go striving for life of purity and virtue...I'm a local chastity speaker in our local area, and this message is so important today :) God bless.

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  22. Ahhhh this was so encouraging to read! I have chosen to remain sexually pure until marriage. It is always so great to find other bloggers who share the same views but from a modern and current perspective!

    xoxo Miss ALK
    http://missalk1994.blogspot.com

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  23. Beautiful post!
    I love love love that song!
    I wore a purity ring since I was 13 too and took it off last June. It's completely worth it yet so hard to convey how much richer life is in living in purity to only share that intimacy with one other person. Stay strong in the Lord because it is 100% worth it and right and perfect the way God planned!

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  24. Hello Erin!
    Found you through the #influenceconf tweets and decided to drop by here when I realised that you spoke on purity and waiting. I'm a 20 year old who threw her virginity out the window at 17 but found God at 18. I have chosen to rededicate my body to God and wait for the man He has chosen for me. It has been especially difficult (and I have fallen a couple more times) but God is leading me along the right path and I'm grateful for that. I've decided to get a purity ring as a reminder of my promise to myself and God to remain pure.
    Thank you for being an inspiration to me, Erin! You don't even know how much.
    Following your blog!

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  25. Very beautiful, and much-needed post for the generation of Christian girls waiting for their earthly love story to start. Thankfully, our Heavenly love story began when we gave our lives to Jesus. And what an adventure He has taken us all on. Some married to godly men, others single but using this season to do His will, others rearing children after His example. Thank you for your heart to see young ladies live lives unto our King Jesus!

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  26. Hey, pretty lady!

    I started reading your blog because you added me on twitter. So I just checked it out! I love this article. I completely agree with everything you wrote. I, myself, am a virgin. I am 30 years old. I did have a purity ring at one time. But it is so nice to hear your thoughts on virginity and purity. I believe it is a message that should be preached more often that it is. And I also agree about labeling virgins as freaks and using them as a form of mockery. But..when we are chastised or persecuted on behalf of Christ, that means we are doing something wrong. .It may not be be understood but it is out there. It is a bold message we are standing on.

    Rebecca St. James is also a role model of mine. I have followed her music for years and found her to be the most gorgeous of them all, because she preached a strong message of abstinence. And she got her fairy tale. So that encourages me that God has not forgotten us. He hears us. He sees our tears and uses them for His purpose. God never wastes a hurt. If we can be vessels for Him and treat our bodies as his temples, what a strong testimony. What a strong proclamation of who we are for Him. Don't give up hope, ladies. "Don't think of singleness as a bad thing. Think of it as God is not done with having you all to himself." God knows how to woo us like no other and I refuse to settle for any less. Until God brings that man into our lives, He must become the man of our lives. :) Keep strong, warrior princess! Be blessed!

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  27. I would have taken this more seriously if you made this into a scientific standpoint rather than something out of a story of the ancient goddess Diana without the rebelling part metaphorically. Pretty much all i see here is the usual lovey dovey yahweh loves you argument when this guy is a monotheistic version of Jupiter or eus (sorry for the misspelling key dont work) Go watch eitgeist. (again) The Bible is a book of fairytales from 2000 years ago set in the middle east and egypt. Itll help you out in your search for (The one) if you learn about psychology and sociology. people throughout history learned it the hard way though- firsthand experiences. Purity would have worked more if we were in Europe during the Dark Ages and your family would be paid in animals for the virgin marriage like you need to be queen eliabeth in order to have a successful life. Trust me, the world wont end if your fruit has been already eaten to say it appropriately or your flower has been accepted as you the writer of the article portrays. besides this is your only life you have on this planet before you at least turn 80 and turn into ashes in a graveyard once you've seen your great grandkids grow up into 8 year olds. Live it to the fullest. im not telling you to go anarchy like weimar Berlin don't be like saving your morality for some afterlife when your already living. As what anne frank said in her diary in the 1940s. whats the use of purity if the act helps a couple bond. Its the oldest ritual of interpersonal love although i understand it's often abused. Hey i watch jersey shore but i don't make them role models. Overall it depends on what you make of the act. Thanks to all who've fully read my post

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  28. I love your post! It is sad I agree that virginity is looked upon as something to be ashamed of, and sadder still that some people (Kevin above me), believe that if you're not out there having sex then you're not living your life to the fullest. So sad that sex seems to be so heavily focused on in our society. Like if you didn't have sex "the world might end". It won't!

    There are way more important things in the world than sex. .Do you think a person on their dying bed is lying there worried about how much sex they did or didn't have.....I seriously doubt it!

    Unlike you I never lived up to my vow of chastity, something I now deeply regret. I wish I had, and I have nothing but admiration and respect for women who do. In an ocean full of Miley's you are a true and precious gem, someone my daughter could actually learn something from.

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sweet friends, share your heart.

"kind words are like honey...sweet..and healing.." -proverbs 16:24.

xo.

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